Oh Yeah...

6 weeks ago today, the latest addition to our family arrived. My niece, Olive Elizabeth Haas, entered the world, ever so gracefully. Her mom, my sister and closest friend, did amazing. If you know Casey, you know how together she has always been. Well, it really showed during labor. She was so calm, so relaxed and so focused. I was amazed by the whole thing. Especially because she didn't have an epidural. Olive and Casey are doing great.

Dear God, Thank you for bringing Olive into the world safely. Amen.

I did it!

I have been saying for about a year and a half that I really want to get my nose pierced. Well, today I finally did it. (You have to look closely in the picture, it's on my right side). It didn't even really hurt at all. The best part of this whole thing is what pushed me to finally do it. In our family at Christmas, after we open our presents, my parents give us each a gift that is special, something with a lot of meaning. This year, when it was my turn and I opened a box, there was $40.00 and a business card from Chrome Lotus Tattoo shop. My parents tried to get me a gift certificate but they had run out. So they gave me cash instead so I could go get my nose pierced. They are awesome. But more than that, what they really gave me what their unconditional love and support. It meant so much to me that they thought enough about what I have been wanting and got it for me. So today, after lunch, we just decided to go get it done. I was super nervous but I did it!

Thanks mom and dad for loving me for who I am. You are pretty much the best.

The Best Vacation Ever

So I just got back from the best vacation ever! Cody and I went to New York City for 4 days and had such a blast. It was amazing. We left New York on the 30th so we got out of dodge before the New Year's Eve frenzy. Both of us loved the city. Our favorite part was going to Central Park. It was so beautiful and we spent a lot of time there walking around, taking lots of pictures. I had no idea that Central Park was over 800 acres. It was awesome. I especially loved spending so much time with Cody, with no agenda, no itinerary, just doing what we wanted to do. It really was a vacation. We packed a lot into 4 days but it didn't seem like we were soooooooo busy or rushed. Kind of hard to explain.

On Sunday we took the subway over to Brooklyn Tabernacle and went to church. We arrived right on time and there were almost no seats left. We finally found a place to sit up in the balcony, just a few rows from the top. The service was awesome, and you could really feel the Spirit of God all around you. We were surrounded by people of all languages. That was probably the neatest thing, to be worshiping with so many different cultures, with one common passion. It was great. The pastor, Jim Cymbala, spoke about Receiving First.......let me elaborate. He gave the example of how fathers take such great joy in watching their kids open up their presents....much more fullfilling that opening your own presents. Then he went on to say that God wants us to receive so much from Him first; His love, His forgiveness; His grace; His comfort....everything. Once we have received what God wants to give us, then we are ready to start giving ourselves. But first......our first step...is to receive. I loved being reminded of that. Sometimes I think I forget to stop and let God fill me up or recharge me. And then I wonder why I get burnt out so quickly....anyways. It was a great experience and I am so thankful that we had the chance to go.


Dear God, Thank you for providing a way for us to go on a vacation to New York. It was perfect. Amen.

Getting you up to date...

So, even though this is a little late, all is well with all of my parts...(in reference to previous post). :) The doctor said that everything looks perfect and decided to change my birth control. That has taken care of the problem, believe it or not. So after that really long emotional post about everything I was worried about....here is a short one letting you know all is well. I did learn a lot through the process though, and I am thankful for that.

Thank you God for healthy parts. Amen.

honesty

So it has been a while since I have blogged. I am kind of going through my own personal struggle right now with my two ovaries. (and I know that is kind personal, but its not like a private part or anything). They have been deciding to act up right now, my ovaries that is, and I have to have a diagnostic laparoscopy on Friday. Basically the doctor has to go in and see what the deal is. I have been in a lot of pain the last few weeks and it has really affected my life a lot more that I would like to admit. Emotionally and physically. Physically, well, I am in pain. It hurts to stand up, and I teach all day, so that is not a good combo. And emotionally, I am just worn out because I have been thinking about "this" so much. It's always on my mind. What will they find? What is going on? Why am I hurting so bad? Can I have children? How does God want me to respond to this? And on and on and on. So the reason I titled todays post Honesty is because I was really impacted by a testimony a few weeks ago in church that was full of a lot of honesty. This girl had some physical struggles and she talked about in her testimony how she would confess her fears to God at night. That really impacted me. I haven't been doing that with what I have been going through. I have been trying to hold it together and be tough, but on the inside I am scared. And I just loved how this particular girl talked about pouring her heart and fears out to God, handing them over to Him. So today I am confessing that I am a little scared. Well, maybe a little more than a little. I don't know what is going on with my Egg Mansions (that is code for ovaries for those of you who don't know your anatomy). And I more scared about the road ahead, of what they might find, blah blah blah. Surgery doesn't scare me, for whatever reason. But the rest of this situation does. So that is that. I confess. I am scared. I am not superwoman and I don't have it all together right now.

But to shift my thoughts, I am walking through all of this with two pretty amazing guys. The first being God, who gently comforts me when I find myself crying or worn out or defeated. Although I want to be strong, He tells me to come to him, Courtney who is weary and He will give me rest. The second of the pretty amazing guys is Cody, my husband and best friend. And I don't just say best friend because it sounds so cool to say that. He really is my best friend. I am so in awe that God let me be the one that Cody loves. He has been absolutely great to me, basically since we started our journey together, but particularly in the past few weeks with all that is going on with me. At night when my thoughts are racing and there is no more conversation or music to drown them out, laying next to him in bed with his arms around me gives me the most peace I feel like I could possibly feel here on earth. He's my life mate. I am so thankful for him and for his life. He makes me laugh a lot right now, a lot. Cody always is pretty funny when we are together, but I know he has been working harder to lighten things up and just have fun with me. It's great.

So I will keep you posted on the surgery results. I might even have pictures. But I won't share them over this blog. Probably for some of you, it may be disturbing that I am even talking about my ovaries. Pictures might just send you over the edge. :)

Keep this in mind the next time your heart is scared. Just tell Him about it. And don't wait as long as I did.


"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28 NIV

Mexican Food Fanatic

So I love mexican food. Anyone who knows me or spends a decent amount of time with me knows that I could eat mexican food all the time. No seriously, I could have it ALL the time. Here's proof. I made mexican rice and beans the other night and have had left overs. I love putting them in tortillas with sour cream and corn chips. Yummy. Well, because I had left overs, I thought I would take that for lunch on Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. And today, Friday. One would predict that eating the same meal for lunch each day could get old. Not when it comes to me and mexican food. Delicious. Or as they say in mexico...Delicioso!!!

I choose Joy

So I am in a bible study right now on Sunday nights and it's on the book of Daniel. Beth Moore is leading the study via video. She does a really good job actually. Last week during our homework, there was a phrase that caught my attention (and I can't remember what it was in reference to) but the phrase was, "I choose joy." So then during the bible study, my friend Tracy, who I am so thankful for, told me that she really liked that part of the homework. We talked briefly about it and then just moved on. Well, all week, Tracy has been saying to me, "I choose joy." At the beginning of the week, I would laugh and acknowledge it, because it would usually be after something annoying happened. But then, the more and more she said it and the more I heard it, I really thought about the power of my perspective. I can find something every single day to get upset about, because there will always be crappy things that happen. And I don't say that to be negative, I just say that as fact. So some days are going to present me with circumstances that I just can't stand. Now, ideally, I would like to committ that in ALL circumstances, I automatically say to myself, "I choose joy" and then just move on. But let's be honest, that is not always going to happen. Some things are going to be a big deal and require my attention and thoughts and stewing about it and talking to Cody about it and going on and on until it resolves in my mind. But what about the little things? The little moments that rub me the wrong way that make no difference for my life or day, they just annoy me.....what if I just started choosing joy? Choosing to let go of those little annoyances that can ruin a mood, a day, a conversation, and move on. And on that note....I don't think that joy is jumping around the room with bells on, it's a deep contentment and acceptance of what's going on. I think joy is your state of mind and knowing a realization that God holds you in his hands. So if that is the case....then I am going to try with the big things too. Choose joy. I am really bad about getting upset quickly and then making drastic statements that are really unncessary and most likely a lot on the rude side. I'll have to go back and look at the context of the homework to see what Beth Moore was talking about with choosing joy. But for now, it's my committment to be better at chilling out. I'm choosing joy.