Mexican Food Fanatic

So I love mexican food. Anyone who knows me or spends a decent amount of time with me knows that I could eat mexican food all the time. No seriously, I could have it ALL the time. Here's proof. I made mexican rice and beans the other night and have had left overs. I love putting them in tortillas with sour cream and corn chips. Yummy. Well, because I had left overs, I thought I would take that for lunch on Monday. And Tuesday. And Wednesday. And Thursday. And today, Friday. One would predict that eating the same meal for lunch each day could get old. Not when it comes to me and mexican food. Delicious. Or as they say in mexico...Delicioso!!!

I choose Joy

So I am in a bible study right now on Sunday nights and it's on the book of Daniel. Beth Moore is leading the study via video. She does a really good job actually. Last week during our homework, there was a phrase that caught my attention (and I can't remember what it was in reference to) but the phrase was, "I choose joy." So then during the bible study, my friend Tracy, who I am so thankful for, told me that she really liked that part of the homework. We talked briefly about it and then just moved on. Well, all week, Tracy has been saying to me, "I choose joy." At the beginning of the week, I would laugh and acknowledge it, because it would usually be after something annoying happened. But then, the more and more she said it and the more I heard it, I really thought about the power of my perspective. I can find something every single day to get upset about, because there will always be crappy things that happen. And I don't say that to be negative, I just say that as fact. So some days are going to present me with circumstances that I just can't stand. Now, ideally, I would like to committ that in ALL circumstances, I automatically say to myself, "I choose joy" and then just move on. But let's be honest, that is not always going to happen. Some things are going to be a big deal and require my attention and thoughts and stewing about it and talking to Cody about it and going on and on until it resolves in my mind. But what about the little things? The little moments that rub me the wrong way that make no difference for my life or day, they just annoy me.....what if I just started choosing joy? Choosing to let go of those little annoyances that can ruin a mood, a day, a conversation, and move on. And on that note....I don't think that joy is jumping around the room with bells on, it's a deep contentment and acceptance of what's going on. I think joy is your state of mind and knowing a realization that God holds you in his hands. So if that is the case....then I am going to try with the big things too. Choose joy. I am really bad about getting upset quickly and then making drastic statements that are really unncessary and most likely a lot on the rude side. I'll have to go back and look at the context of the homework to see what Beth Moore was talking about with choosing joy. But for now, it's my committment to be better at chilling out. I'm choosing joy.

Sharing

So when you are married, you share a lot of things. Thoughts, feelings, the bed, closet space, toothpaste, pillows, time, money...you get the point. This last week Cody has been battling a cold/cough combo. But I have managed to stay feeling good. We have been pretty diligent about taking vitamin C and resting. Blah blah blah. But somehow, somewhere in all the sharing that goes on, Cody shared his germs with me. :( I feel like crap tonight. I am off to bed with Tylenol Cold Nighttime. And even though I am a tad bit upset with him for getting me sick, I love being his wife so much so I really don't care. He's the best. I am so excited to share the rest of my life with him.

For real this time...

Ok, so I think I am going to blog consistently for real this time. I discovered recently that the only reason I am not blogging is because I might possibly (and probably) be judged by those who read it. Kind of embarrassing to admit. But it's true. And maybe I feel that way because I have heard people be judgemental about blogs (even an instance just today), or maybe I feel that way because I know that I struggle with being judgemental. I don't know the reason, but I know I struggle with what other people think. But the thing is, what other people think about me doesn't change who I am. So if someone "thinks" certain things that aren't true about me, it doesn't make them true just because they think it. (kind of a long sentence, but you get the point.) If that were the case, then I would just love to think that I had a million dollars in my bank account and have it be true. But no matter how much I think it or tell it to others, it doesn't change the dollar amount of my bank account. So I am going to be brave and blog. And I don't want to blog for any other reason than to sort things out that are in my mind. Sometimes I feel like I miss out on things because a thought or a realization is sucked into my mind and hidden forever by busy schedules, weariness, conflict, etc. So to avoid that, I want to take time to blog and reflect, to capture in writing, the thoughts and feelings that make me Courtney. We'll see how it goes. And even though I wouldn't want anything I blog about to be controversial or disturbing to others, I am prepared that my feelings and honest thoughts may be offensive simply because so many people (like myself) work so hard to cover up the inside of ourselves and live so that others may only see a pretty outside. So raw feelings become wrong, when really, they are just how we feel and things we need to work through. Inside out. I want the inside of me to be out. No matter how it looks, feels, tastes, smells or sounds. (I think that's all the senses). My Nana used to journal everyday about her family, feelings, thoughts, prayers, etc. I wonder how that must have helped her manage things. Honestly expressing herself on paper. And I also wonder if she worried about what she wrote. Probably not. She just wrote. She was Nana. She talked about her kids, her marriage, her life. So in 2007, my journal looks a little different; it's a laptop. I don't use a pen, I use a keyboard. And the paper is this blogspot. But the purpose is most like the same as what my Nana used to do. Reflection. Rejoicing. Times of sadness. Tangled thoughts. Funny moments. They will all be here.